The male ♂ and female ♀ language disconnect

Have you ever met with a potential female client, thought the meeting went really well only to learn that she decided not to invest with you? While at other times you may have felt unsure about your chances with a potential female client and were pleasantly surprised that she chose to work with you.

So what’s going on here? It is as simple and as complex as the fact that men and women tend to communicate differently. Consider the following “he said” “she heard” scenarios and the reverse. Do any sound familiar? Have you used or heard any of these phrases and potentially misunderstood?

He said   —   She heard
Don’t worry about that   —  You’re too stupid to understand
You’ve got to learn to take risk   —   You’ll likely lose money
My expertise is helping clients grow wealth   —   I don’t usually take on clients like you
Don’t you want to be financially independent?   —   How can you not want more money
We need to invest outside of the US   —  I want to maintain the upper hand over you
The facts show that it’s the right thing to do   —  How it feels doesn’t matter
I meet with clients in my office once a year  —  He doesn’t care about my needs
You can’t get emotional about investing   —  You’re an air head

She said   —   He heard
I want to think about it   —   I can’t trust what you say
I want to talk to my husband   —   My husband will Google it
Can we meet?   —   I want to waste your time
A freind told me about a stock   —  My back-up financial advisor will second guess you
It doesn’t feel right to me   —   I let emotions drive my decisions
How does this relate to my life?   —   I wasn’t listening to what you said
How much do I pay in fees?   —   I’m likely to move my account

Generally, women want to be treated as a partner so anything that sounds like you are talking down or preaching to them is likely to turn them off. On the other hand, they like to be informed so when they ask questions they are not doubting you necessarily – asking questions is they way they learn and understand what’s going on.

Take Away: Improve your listening skills. But listening is part of the equation, really trying to understand what the other person is saying and why is the other half of listening.


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